I’ve been doing my Evil, Esquire series, which has been fun to write about my day job. And then two weeks ago I totally missed a post – I was on vacation and erroneously thought I had a scheduled post. That was my bad. And now it’s time to post again and I’m struggling.
I’m struggling with my job. I like what I do. I just made partner in my firm, which supposed to be the goal of every lawyer – pass the bar, get hired, work your ass off, become partner, reap profits, retire. That’s what they show on TV, that’s what you hear about.
And so I should be thrilled that I have a piece of paper that says that I’m an owner in the firm. I now get a share of the profits, which should be awesome.
But I’m not thrilled.
The freedom of being an associate was great. I was an employee. I showed up, did my work, and left, and rarely had to work from home. I know I was lucky as hell as an associate, because I worked less and got paid more than a lot of my colleagues in the area. But I still worked hard.
And it has paid off.
Or has it? Now, instead of being worry free about my paycheck, I have to make sure that money is coming in to ensure I’m getting the amount I need/want. I have responsibility that I didn’t have before. And I’m not sure I want it.
There are an awful lot of lawyers who quit and become writers. And I’ve always understood that temptation, but never so much as now. Unfortunately, I make a lot more money as a lawyer than I would as a writer, and that’s hard to give up.
So I’m discouraged. It doesn’t help that I currently have a client from hell that emails me constantly, wants work done instantly (he seems to be under the impression he’s my ONLY client), and for whatever reason (this annoys me the most), he uses excessive amounts of inappropriate quotation marks in his emails. No, really.
Here’s an excerpt from a recent epistle: Please “speak up” if there is anything more Skye, that you request for or need? Let’s push this through ok, for the “balls in your court”! We shall be following up with you tomorrow or Wednesday.
*beats head against desk*
Well, gotta run. Because now my paycheck depends not on my being here, but rather on my billing. And clearly, someone needs me. For the “millionth” time. “Lucky” me!